My friend Denis is a total shitbag and honestly sometimes I wonder why we even hang out with him. An example of him being a little shit happened the other day when him and Mark were is Spar. Mark was buying something and just before he went to pay Denis threw some M&M’s down on the counter and ran out the shop. The cashier looked at Mark and was like “you going to get those” and Mark was like “Errrmmm apparently….” So Denis managed to get some M&M’s for free. What a proper crapbag! Denis can somehow get away with being a douch all the time and im blaming his Irish accent. The Irish accent accounts for so much in Denis’s life. He is grubby and not at all like a real person but somehow he manages to succed in life! I find this very annoying!

However the other day he went to a lecture and was early, which is really unusual for him. He was sat down minding his own business when someone sat down next to him. Before Denis checked to see who it was he said “HI!” as he turned to look at the person. He then realised that he didn’t know this person. This is probably one of my worse nightmares. But what happened next was awesome. This girl smiled and said “HI! How was the sailing?”. Denis doesnt sail. Then there was this akward bit when the both realised that they didnt know each other so Denis, manfully, took responsiblity and applogised thinking that as she came and sat next to him he must know who it was. For me the worse part of this story would be afterwards when your both sat next to each other in an empty lecture theater next to each other. What do you say? Fuck knows but Denis has somehow got a date out of it! This manchild is slowly become an aspiration to me….Not to sure what that says about either of us…

Anyway I still have no idea how tumblr works and im only following people I know. I also want more followers on tumblr. I was trying to think of some important reason that ment I dont sound like a compleate beg but I cant. I just want more followers becasue it makes me feel better about myself as a person.

So I havnt really put anything on tumblr reccently because I have had nothing of any importance to say. Although yesterday I figured out that global warming isnt happening but I think that writting abou the that and putting it on the internet is slightly cliche. So im going to tell you about things that have occured in Spar reccently. Spar is the nearest shop to my house and is 24 hours which is quite useful is the superbowl is on and for Mark to by post drink milkshakes. Considering that its just a shop quite a lot of stuff has happened in there.

For instance the other day I went to by some milk (semi-skimmed obv!) which costs £1.29. I had £1.50 with me so after I purchased the milk I was expecting 11p change. WRONG! I only received 10p. This confused me slightly, so I told the dumbass chinese guy, politly that he had given me the wrong change. Then it happend. This twat reached over the counter and picked out a 1p coin from the NSPCC bucket. This is when I got pissed off. There was a deffinate inhaling of breath from the que behind me. I could not belive that this guy had done this and imediatly put the penny back in the bucket. I tried to explain to this guy what he had done wrong but I was stuttering with rage. I may have managed to shout “thats not how money works!”. This cunt then made up some bullshit about not being able to open the till unless something else was scanned in. I have never used a til but I know that that is bollocks. So I made him go and get a manager, who only pressed one button on the touchscreen thing and the till opend, and I got my penny. What bothered me about this wasn’t the amount of money I didn’t get but the fact that this fucking guy had decided that he would make up for it by taking it of charity…….Im still genuinlly anoyed by it now. Now I was quite pissed off when I received this penny so may have been an epic douchbag but as sson as I got the penny I put it into the charity bucket. I may have been a bit of a dick there but i do generally give my pennies to charity anyway. Some might say it was a little excessive though, however I think I proved my point!

Another time in Spar I met my housemate Howley who was out playing pub golf and had obviously won. 18 holes all down in one and was suffering for it. He came in on his own when yet again I ws buying milk. As soon as he got in the shop he started shouting “I NEED A QUICK PURCHASE! SPEED! SPEEEEEEDDD! THERE IS NO TIME!” This is very amusing to me because shouting is not only funny but also because Howley had nothing to buy, no money and was rows away from the tills.

Another time my freind and his dad had been out for a gig and wanted some food before they went home. Basically the short version is they somehow managed to get into a fight with the bouncer who worked there (I have never come across a shop that has actual doormen and when you consider that most of the drinking estabishments in Aber dont have doormen, this is almost overkill(however considering there was a fight involving the doorman it is ironic and apparently necessary)) For there trouble they each recieved 2 year bans from all of the Spars in Aber. There are 3 Spars in Aber which is far too many considering Aber is the size of a sneeze.

So iv rattled on long enough about what now seen quite uninteresting things so il stop. Also I still dont really know how to use tumblr yet. I think it will remain one of lifes great mysterys like what the best swear word is? or what people did before social networking? ( I think people actually spoke to each other but its such along time ago no one can remember…)

This post isnt going to be about how shit uni is because so far all my lectures that im going to hate (such as research skills and preparation for the fieldwork) have been cancelled and rearanged so that it compleatly invalidates the timetable I was given. This is quite stupid because whats the point of a time table if its going to be changed. However my lecture yestarday way actually ok. There was way to much stuff to write down but the way the lecturer spoke was really funny to me. This is probably really immature to laugh at the way people speak but this guy has genuinlly funny of organising the words. Anyway this is boring me read so I will move on. I would love to use some sort of segway but I just cant think of anything so im just going to change subject sort of. My lecturer today was really good despite going massivly off topic and actually takeing a full 3 hours to get through 1 hours worth of actual usefull information. But on the plus side we have accidentally come up with a way to make a nuclear bomb and where would be the most usefull (I probably dont mean usefull but I cant think of an approptriot word) place to put it. After he had explained this he asked if anyone was Al-Qaeda and, as im in Wales, the nearest stereotypical terrorist we could come up with was some Chinease guy so everyone looked at him. Im like to think that im better than this but apparenty not as I also inadvertently looked. Hopefully I managed to pass it of with a strech but tbh he Chinease is one of the most racist countrys in the world so me looking at him is deffinatly not his biggest problem. 

Also I hate Jess. Last weekend I met up with some of my friends from the caravan. I had a really good time despite ash breaking everything! I also learnt that I need to get some pajamas or somthing mainly so that I have somthing to take with me like everyone else does. Jess had got loads of stuff with her that she deffinatly didnt need. Also she was wearing hair extensions which are fine as long as they stay on a head. I think that I actually have a genuine phobia of hair extension which is pretty lame. Of all the things to be affraid of, that is shit so I think that I should get another real phobia of something that isnt fucking stoooooopid. As I was taking Jess home she rememberd that she had forgotten her coat. I compleatly didnt care as we were 30mins from Jades where sh had left it and only 10mins from her house. So after a 10min argument Jess persuaded me to drive all the way back to Jades. The first thing that annoyed me was how funny we both found it. Trying to argue when your crying with laughter is perhaps the most annoying thing that you can do to yourself. So in the end Jess got her coat and I didnt go and see my gran :(. However I did get Jess to agree to do anything I wanted. Imediatly everyone reading this is assuming dirty things. Whilst many people have suggested that I use this gift for sex, I may never get an oppourtunity to annoy Jess this much again. Therefore I am going to wait and set out a clear plan so that I have loads of fun and that Jess also learns her lesson! I have some ideas but I want everyones input so please tell me if you have any brilliant ideas. Anyway im going to play time splitters 2 with mark cus its awesome.

21. Do you want children? Why or why not?
Yeh. I have no idea why…

22: What subject did / do you exceed in / at school?
Esceed is a very strong word. I dont think I have ever exceeded at anything really especially at school. The only reason that I did well in Geography was because it was easy. Have you ever met someone who thought GCSE Geography was hard?

24: How attractive do you consider yourself?
What a very leading question. Any awnser I put here would just annoy myself or someone reading this.

25: Would you rather date someone plain with an amazing personality or someone beautiful with a plain personality?
Again this is a very leading question because im either going to sound like a douchbag or a liar. But a plain looking person isn’t necessary a bad thing. If they were biege and tasted like cardboard, that would be a problem however a normal looking person is great. I find, mainly because im bitter, that with beautiful people you tend to focus on the parts of them that arnt perfect. Eg. Emma Buntons forhead. The way I see it, in each scenario, the negative would be cancelled out by the positive

26: Choose two: mentally stable, intelligent, attractive. Explain why you chose those two.
Compleatly unreasonable question. There are absolutly no perameters for this question to make an informed decsision. However the only reason I can is by discounting mentally stable. Who is truely mentally stable and who says who is mentally stable?

27: Which do you prefer: films or television? Why

Films because im at Uni now and we dont have a T.V licence so I dont watch TV and I dont really miss it at all.

28: If you could choose to live forever, would you? Why or why not?
100% YES!. Anyone who says no to this has not fully thought about the question. Whilst there are some downsides to this they are eclipsed by the fact that you can live forever.

29: Do you wish for anything at 11:11? If so, what do you wish for? Has anything ever come true?
No. I also dont understand the significance of 11:11.

30: What do you imagine your life like at age fifty?

I cant see myself getting to 50 if im being realistic. Im struggleing to come to terms with being 20 this year. I will not take kindly to being 50. If I do make it I hope im a compleate fuck about. I hope that im still living like a do in the summer with no fixed dates for doing stuff and just having a great time. I also hope that all my friends have similar lifes so that we can all do what we want to.

Gonna try to battle through the rest of this quiz. Im will try and keep my awnsers short but I did ast time aswell and that went on for ages.

11. What is your favorite quote? How does it relate to your life?

This is very hard as there are many mermorable quotes that I enjoy so I will just list a few. None of them relate to me in any way though.

“Stop crying like a big gay baby”

“Its better to burn out, than fade away”

“You just got killed by a Daewood Lalos motherfucka”

Also almost everything that is said on The Thick Of It because swearing is funny and cool. For instance “…like some egg cunt!” is endlessly hilarious

12. What item of clothing do you wear the most?

Either my haggard old trainers or my blue and purple stripped hoodie

13. What can you not live without?

Aside from the obvious stuff live food, water, oxygen there is very little that when I actually think about it, I actually need. Im am generally content with most things and I am not a person that has loads of stuff or needs anything in particular. What I would like to have in my life is someone to talk to who I can have a really conversation with but who I can also have a laugh with. There is nothing else that I can justifiably put here without it seeming trivial or dirty.

14. Name things that you do every day?

All the normal stuff that everyone else in the world does. This is a stupid question.

15. Who is someone you admire? Why?

I think iv already awnsered this. This is very simmilar to the first question I awsnsered so anything I write here will either be repetative or contradictary.

16: If the world were to end tomorrow, what would you do with your remaining time on earth?

In all honestly I would most likely waste it. Just because its my last day on earth there is no point trying to change my life with only 1 day to make up for it. I might be a massice twat and piss everyone off because what does it matter. The worlds coming to the end. Depending on how the world was gonna end and also who else knew may influence what I did. For instance, if I was told that tommorrow some guy was gonna mix pennies with crisps and that this would some how create enough anti-matter to destroy the earth, then I may try and avert this tradergy. Also this sound shelfish but if I knew I was gonna die, then I sort of want to end it on my own terms. If I could see the nuclear warhead comming at me, I would rather jump off a building. It would be the world last and smallest victory.

17: What do you want to be when you get older? Why did you choose it?

I want to do absoloutly nothing and I mean this literally. Nothing is fantastic. I dont see why this is such an unrealistic option either because I truely believe that I can do it. Why should I have to do something I dont want to for the rest of my life?  I accept that I will have to do work. So far the only work I have done has been on my terms when I wanted and it has been very well paid. Therefore 100% of my experience has lead me to belive that I can earn money when I want and need to and the rest of the time I can nurse my back that gets ruined from the work iv done.

18: If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would it be? What would you say to them or ask them?

Hitler. Get his take on it all…

But seriously whatever person I picked, if it came true, I would regret because there is always someone better. However I really enjoy Dough Stanhopes take on life.

19: What is your favorite film? Why is it so important to you?

Im really not sure of this one because I have seen alot of films. Planet Terror and Machete are both good and the Expendibles has an almost ideal cast. However I am far to thick and criticl of films. I dont really want ot see Inception because I wont understand it and even when I do I will be able to see the flaws in it.

20: Would you consider yourself an optimist or a realist? Why?

I am a realist which I hate. However it has lead me to have a great time in life because I am rarly dissapointed and often right. Also I like to think that I can see the bigger picture and see how decisions and actions will permiate. I could literally write forever about this but this is already to long and boring.

Unfourtunatly there will have to be a part 3 to this series.

1. Name two of the most significant people in your life and explain why.

Trevor-He is technically my friends dad but I would consider him to be a friend. I think he is significant to me because he has tought me so much about the world. By this I mean that he is truelly a man of the world which I also realise doesnt explain what I mean. He is very good at social dilemma’s and understands when to appease people and when to tell them to fuck off. I believe that I am also one of his friends because the ammount that I know about his life is incredible. Briefly he has been British and European Motorcross Champion several times as well as British and European Motorcross Sidecar Champion with his twin brother, he is one of the best carpinters, joiners, builders and project managers in the country and can get a job at the drop of a hat if he wanted. He is the person that has paid me the biggest compliment I think I have ever recieved. He complimented me on the friends I have and the people I hang around with at the caravan. I think that complimenting someone on there choice of friends is the best thing that you can say, and coming from someone that I respect so much really ment alot to me.

Im really not sure on the second person becasue there are so many so I might just do a brief outline of some of them.

Lauren Pearce-When im with her its always fun, she gets my jokes and she generally restors my faith in humanity

Rory Cutler/Russel Brand/Jack Kerouac (does this count cus he’s not technically in my life?)-Simple put Rory had a brief obsession with Russel Brand. I wanted to know what all the hype was about so I watched a programme where Russel Brand talked about Jack Kerouac. I them read loads of Jack Kerouac and for the first time it actually made me think about stuff.

Everyone else I know-Everyone has influenced me to some degree wheather its because I want to aspire to be them or if I want to deliberatly not be like them.

2. What is your stance on religion? Would you affiliate yourself with any?

Well this is already a really long and tbh quite boring blog so il try to sum up my thoughts on religion even though I dont fully understand it myself.

Religion is hands down the greatest thing that humans have created. And probably ever will….I know those are famous last words but I cant see humans observing such an influential thing, that for the most part is for good. I like religion because it is a way of explaining thing in nature etc that don’t make sense. In my opinion it is far more believable that somebody/thing/omniprescent being formed the earth rather than some atoms getting together and slowly getting bigger. The reason for this is becasue at some point in any counter argument to this the time scale come into play. A soon as someone say “14 billion years ago…” it compleatly invalidates that argument because there is absolutly no way of knowing that. What was happening 2000 years ago? Oh I look in this book. Whilst I dont consider this to be proof, it is a very quick example of why religion is more plausable than science IMO. I like the idea of religion becasue it gives purpose to life. To me the idea that the only reason I exist was because of the right combination of chemicals gathering in the infamous “small warm pool” is terrible. I like to think that there wa a reason for me existing. Having said all that no I am not religious but I wish I was. I don’t mind what religion bucause they are all deffinatly a good idea. That wasnt very concise

3. What band/musician is most important to you? Explain why.

If I had to pick it would be Neil Young not only for his excellent music but because of the way he lives his life and that he has done everything that he has wanted to and is a person tha truelly doesn’t care about what is expected of him from the ”fans”. Also his gambles always pay off which is the sign of a true musical genius

4: If you could chose a time period to be born at , which one would it be and why?

I like the idea of being around at the moment because we are at the pinacle of the human race. Everything is the best it has ever been. However I cant help but think that being born in the 1940’s would have been awesome because it meant that I could expierience all the things that are looked back on with such nostalgia now. However I expect that in 60 years time people on there space computers will be wanting to come back to now.

5: At what age were you the happiest?

Not sure really. I dont really remember anything past about 3 years ago. Last summer was good so about 6 months ago….

6: Name five things from your wishlist.

Bearnads Watch, 2nd Xbox controller, New shoes, Aber Uni to accept my genius and just give me a degree so that I dont have to do anymore work, Success

Those are very poor awnsers but thats the best I could come up with at the moment. I am already wanting to change some of my awnsers….

7: Do you read? If so, what are your three favorite books and why?

Jack Kerouac-Either On The Road (because its the only book thats ever made me cry) (<GAYLORD) or Big Sur (Becasue its was written by a person who truly knows themself) I think that I also read these at the right times as well

Motley Crue-The Dirt

Even if you have no interset in music or books this is still something that yor need to read. The unbelievable storys and brutal honesty are so compelling. *SPOILER* Also when Vince Niel is talking about his daughter it is really sad :(

Brandon Novak-Dreamseller

This is basically an auto-bigraphy about a quasi-celecbrity fuck up who was a pro-skater, drug dealer, heroin addict and is now one of Bam Margera’s mates. It highlights how a person who has the world at there feet is more likly to trip over.

8: If you could live anywhere, where would you live and why?

I wanna live in Sam’s fantasy but I would like more influece in the choice of music. Or in Laurens world cus she has a great time!

9: How old do you think you act? Explain.

Anywhere between 6-14. This is actually a genuine concern because im gonna be 20 this year and I fell like I should act like it but grown ups suck so I dont know if I ever wanna be one. Being a kid means that you can get away with more.

10: If you could only live off of one food and one beverage for the rest of your days, what would they be?

Protien Milkshakes. 2 Birds 1 stone!

Im not sure really because eventually you would get board or ill of whatever you had and also the idea of this actually ever happening is unlikly so I dont think il dignify this with a response. But I do like Clementines and Dandelion and Burdock.

This is far too long and unintersting for me to continue now so il finish off in the future…..*Doctor Who music*

I was gonna write about my New Years but I realised that if I were to read it about myself I would either, not believe it or think that I was s doughbag for blagging about how awesome one small period of time was. I hate this about myself. Im am overly sceptical. This sucks because, aside from people I already know, I think that every remotly interesting story someone tells me has a bad motive behind it. I think that they are telling me it to show off, when in actual fact they are most likly trying to make friends. What really annoys me is that this aspect of my character is only ever accentuated when I meet a genuine douchbag, however when I meet someone who is casually telling a story and whos motivation is just to entertain, this doesnt restore my faith in people.

This is aprobem that has been made infinatly worse by Newswipe and Uni. At Uni you are taught not to believe anything except what you need to learn for the exam, which is also wrong. Bassically nothing is true until someone publishes a journal article on that subject. This is stupid because the blindly obvious stuff I cant say as fact because it is so obvious no one has the need to write a paper on it, therefore it is wrong. This is a stupid way to gain knowledge. This has also increased my scepticism because you are taught to evaluate sources, but no of them ever come to the conclusions everyone knows and accepts is wright. So how am I ment to improve my understanding of physical geography?

The other thing I hate about uni, aside from it turning me into a general none beliver in anything, is that too much emphasis is put on how an essay is written. This is crap! If my content is correct and shows that I understand the subject, what does it matter if it was written poorly…on the back of a playing card….in blood? How can I write yet still wrong? It is a compleate paradox and not even an interesting one….

Uni also suck because alot of what I am learning, I already know. The stuff that I dont know is trivial things like dates of things etc. I dont care when. All I ever wanted from Uni was for some to sit me down and go “Look at this! This is fantastic! It is there because….” Thats it. I never wanted a job in gegraphy, the only motivation for me going was because it was interesting and now it isnt so why am I bothering. Last semester I was working for all the time I was awake and it was shit and when you think how long I would be at work for and that I was getting paid and that it was still gonna be shit, im even less inclined to want to be at Uni. My genuine advice to anyone would be go and have a great first year at Uni, then leave because its all downhill after that. Everyone I know in there seconf year of Uni hate it, which cant be coincidence.

In conclusion Uni sucks and I don’t believe you!

It is douchbag’oclock. What im about to write about sounds like me showing off about all the fun stuff I have done in the last few days and generally being a douchbag. However that is not the motive for writing this. The reason is because it was the best few days ever!!!!!

It started off great (for me) beacuse not only did my best friend lauren come down but she brough her new boy friend. (This is another reason why im a douchbag. When I say best friend im not trying to devalue any other friendships but she is one of the frew people who will run away from her boyfriend, across a reasonably busy bar, shouting “MMIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEE!” and almost hug me off a chair. I very much appreciated that kind of friendship). Anyway when her boyfriend, Jordan, finally caught up the first thing I said was “Remember when Dan licked you out on the beach?” (Dan and Lauren have been out more times than any other people ever! Also this is when I was genuinlly being a douchbag). Most girls in this position would have given me a much overdue slap but Lauren, this is also why she’s my best friend, thought it was really funny. Dan went bright red at this poit which I found hilarious. Jordan felt slightly akward but I made ammends and offered to get him a drink. He asked for a fosters so I got him one. However later on he told me that he was only 16. What a twat! So I told Lauren about him being a dick and she had already had a go at him for being such a dickhead.

Also throughout the whole time I was at the caravan I had no water beacuse the boiler had got a leak. This wasnt really a problem for me beacuse I just pissed outside and went up to Richards to shower. Richard and Gearge are brothers and their dad is called Trev. The day that I had arrived was also the day that their Grandad had died so they spent alot of time in Tywyn during the day. So I used to go up to theres and have a shower and spend the rest of the day drinking with Trev. Its quite surreal having a best friend that is one of your other bestfreinds dad. Also Rich and George wern’t to bothered about their Grandad for many reasons but its not appropriate to discuss them here. What real made me realise that they wernt taking this seriously was that when they went out to get suits for the funeral and after-party (they meant wake but kept frefering to it as the after party). Rich refused to spend any money on a suit and George came back with a triby because he wanted to “doff his hat” to the coffin as it went past.

Anyway I didnt mean write about this, I meant to write about my New Years Eve and day but this would end up being the worlds longest tumblr ever so il do it tommorrow. Get excited!

Last night was almost a re-union of everyone which occured in the sharmans. I dont know why it was ‘almost’ a re-union because everyone was there at some point. Also if your reading this and wern’t there apologies. I thinkt that I wasnt as excited to see everyone as I was this time last year. This was partly due to what happened on the 12th December 2009 which meant the past year and particlually last christmans have been hard. Also I have always been used to leaving people and not seeing them for months on end because of having loads of freinds at the caravan. Infact this year was the first time I have seen people from my caravan not at the caravan, or even in Wales. (One of my freinds lives in Wythall and she knows Jack Banner yet I only went to her house for the first time ever last friday and it was amazingly weird).

What im trying to say is that, whilst I very much look forward to see everyone, not seeing them is also compleatly bearable. And becuase I was one of the few people to leave last year im used to coming back and meeting everyone at the sharmans. I think this helped because last year it reassured me that you can leave and come back and the people that were your freinds (or at least tolerated you) will still be your freinds (/tolerate you).

But anyway I realised why I like being home because we talked about poo for what most people would consider, not only an unnecessary anount of time, but propbably an unhealthy amount of time. I enjoyed it. However when you think about it, its weird that I enjoyed it and when you really think about it its really weird that I enjoyed it.

In other news the lack of heating is almos becoming a problem. For instance today I had to put on a jumper whilst I was indoors which I object to. According to the thermometer in the hall its -3C inside which is quite cool. Now all drinks have to be consumed almost instantly otherwise they start to freeze. However I am very much enjoying the snow.

Just remembered John wasnt there. Sorry you were forgotten.

So despite saying I was gonna do something today, just so that I could write about it later, I have done nothing. I started to fix my mums car for the MOT but like a real garage I stopped work at 3 when the job wasn’t finished. I had spent the previous hour just smashing the wheel bearing with a hammer to try and get it out. Its still in there….

But I do wanna try and use tumblr more because I can now iv got the time and now work. Im basically just about to start rambling… I really annoy myself most of the time. I just went all the way to the kitchen and got a single biscuit. Who does that? Also I have taken to drinking all beverages in twos because the only thing better than 1 cup of tea is 2 cups of tea. 3 cups of tea would be bad cus no one wants that much tea.

The house is really cold cus the boilers broken. I have a terrible way of letting people know how cold it is but its properly obscene and not something I want to put on the internet.

I hate the idea of being 20! Mainly because I have accomplished nothing but also it will make me feel worse for being such a child.

I love electric six. Dance Commander is one of the best songs no one has ever listend to. There is also a fantastic part of Naked Pictures of Your Mother where Dick Valentine goes “STOP!….CONTINUE!” which I really enjoy. From now on if I ever have to say those words im gonna say them like he does. Its the same thing as why I cant say MASTA CYLINDER!!! properly.

Anyway im looking forward to seeing everyone when they get home and regaining the borderline social life that I have/had.

I just read this back to myself and it looks like something that a child would write just before they killed everyone….*cocks gun*. Nah I just kidding ;) <sinnister wink.